Seven years.
Seven years has passed since my younger brother, Kyle, left this earth.
He was killed in a car accident at the age of 16.
It was every bit of an accident.
The type of thing that leaves everyone wondering why? and how? and what if?
It was tragic.
It still is.
I was devastated.
Sometimes, I still am.
I miss him.
Always will.
I think of the things I am missing out on seeing him experience.
High school graduation.
Girlfriends.
College.
Career.
Marriage.
Kids.
My kids.
Life.
Memories.
Those are all things I wish I could see.
My whole family, and his friends, feel this way.
So, that's a selfish list.
What I want.
What I miss.
Loss is so hard for those left behind.
BUT,
He's in a better place.
He's missing nothing.
He has everything.
More than I can imagine.
This gives me HOPE.
The reason I am able to go on.
The reason I can smile,
laugh,
breathe,
pray,
and live life to the fullest.
Thank heaven for that.
I can proudly say that I'm 'okay.'
I'm more than okay.
I'm blessed beyond belief.
I am loved.
I am loved by the creator of the Universe.
I have more than I could ever need or want.
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of my brother for 16 precious years.
He was cherised.
Thank you for the hope that I will see him again.
Thank you, Keith for always holding my hand and wiping my tears from day 1.
You do it better than anyone else in the world.
God knew I needed a strong shoulder.
He sent me you.
Thank you, Mom and Dad, for being so strong and inspiring.
I cannot imagine and hope to never know what it is like to loose a child.
You amaze me.
Thank you, friends.
Friends of Kyle, friends of mine.
Those of you that ask, who support, that tell stories, that keep his memory alive.
You are precious.
Kyle - Love you, little punk'in. Looking forward to a hug.
**Sorry for the deeply personal post, for those of you that read this for recipes. But, this blog is also about my life, and this is very much a part of it. I have talked about him last year, and the year before. Since I can't imagine a time in life when this day doesn't mean something to me, I felt compelled to continue to acknowledge it. Thanks for your support and love, even if you didn't know him, and don't really know me! :)**
26 responses. Leave a Comment!:
I am so sorry for your loss. I do read your blog for your recipes (it even inspired me to start keeping a meal plan on my blog- which I haven't been very good about), but I wanted to say that even though I don't know you, your post brought tears to my eyes. I will keep your family in my prayers today. I am sure it is not any easier, even after seven years.
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Praying of you and your family this Thanksgiving.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine.
Oh my, I'm in tears! I'm so sorry about your loss. That is one of my deepest fears- losing my brother! Knowing that he is in a better place is great hope for you and your family and knowing that you will see him someday!
Oh I am crying reading this. How deeply touching, tragic, heartbreaking. I can't imagine losing one of my brothers. Its my nightmare. You are a strong woman with many blessings and I'm sure your brother has something to do with that! Never apologize for writing a personal post on YOUR blog. I love your blog for your recipes but this post is a daily reminder to love life, live life everyday to its fullest. Thinking of you today and praying for you.
I'm so sorry Kendall. I had no idea. I can't imagine how hard it must be. Praying for you sweet girl.
I'm so sorry Kendall. I had no idea. I can't imagine how hard it must be. Praying for you sweet girl.
Aw, sweet Kendall...this post is so sweet and so encouraging. You are such a strong, beautiful woman! I am so sorry for your loss, and I know today will be an extra tough one, so sending many prayers and hugs your way.
That was very touching, Kendall, and beautifully written.
Kendall, thank you for posting this. I read your blog for the yummy recipes, but mostly for the personal stuff. I have a brother that is 2 1/2 years younger than me and I could not imagine the hurt your heart has felt. This really brought me to reality and made me realize I need to be thankful. Hope you and your family have a blessed Thanksgiving!
For the brief time that I knew Kyle, 2 short years, I truly adored him. Thinking of you and your family today.
-Carmen
Kendall, Keeping you in my prayers today. I am so sorry for your loss.
You are one incredible lady alright! I'm sure your brother is smiling down right now!
I'll be thinking of you and your family today. I know that he is with you each and every day :)
Beautiful. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. That's so tragic. But also so great that you can see how blessed you truly are. Kyle would be so proud of you.
Wow- I am so overwhelmed by your comments!! You guys are wonderful!!
The strength and faith of you and your family is remarkable and inspiring. Hoping you have a relaxing time with loved ones in LR without any work stress over the holiday!
My thoughts and prayers are with you today...
You are in my thoughts...you and your family...
Aww I am so sad. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find comfort and remember happy times. I dont know why we lose the people we love when they are too young. Hang in there girlie
I ran across your blog from a friend of mine. It is truly wonderful that you can express your feelings of this tragic event, someone who may not even know you may be able to find some peace in their life after a tragic accident as well. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sad for you and your family. But I know that our God is so very good..and that your brother is probably having a blast up there!
<3
I'm so sorry for your loss, Kendall. I can't imagine all that you've been through these last seven years. Praying for your family.
Oh you silly goose, do not apologize for your personal post. I think it is so amazing that you can express yourself and share the beauty of you and your brother's relationship. I think of you and your family often! And our once a year hug is not enough!!! I wish I could just hug you right now!! Love you lots and hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Kendall, I had no idea. I cannot imagine losing someone so close to you, and I am so deeply touched that your shared your feelings with your blog readers. I already admired you for your recipe blogs, but now admire you even more for your strength, courage, and inspiration.
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